Coney Island Freaktoberfest

Shmaltz Brewing Company
Brewed at Olde Saratoga Brewing (Mendocino Brewing Co.)
Style: Oktoberfest/Märzen
San Francisco, California USA

Pours like a kriek’s deep cherry juice color with a pink head. Memorable and freakish! Smells really mild, unexpected especially considering the way it looks. Slightly bready with some walnut. Soft, slick mouthfeel. Thick but not chewy. Well-balanced and mild flavors but punchy finish. Drinkable, clean.

Bottle from Once Upon a Vine South on 09/19/2008. Pours a slightly hazy red body with a rather large frothy pink head. Sweet grainy and toasty aroma. Sweet slightly grainy and toasty flavor with some citrusy hops. Medium body with moderate carbonation. This is more of an American Pale Ale with red food coloring instead of an Oktoberfest. Really not that bad, but the color tends to surprise you.

Tap at the Brazen Head: Strawberry color bright red with a bright red head. (All food coloring/artificial) Surprisingly clean malt aroma, fresh and doughy. Decent texture. The appearance would suggest it’s taste articial, but it doesn’t. It actually has a lightly spiced malt body with a balanced flowery bitterness. Better than expected (for the entire premise of the beer)

Yep, interesting pour for sure, bright red, pink/orange head. Sweet up front, malty, but not that toasty/nutty malt that you normally get, sort of more fruitiness and more candy-like. I thought about this a bit, was it the color that tricks the brain into this? might be. Finish had a lingering bitterness, a bit stronger then a typical marzen, sort of chalky and almost herbal quality to it.

Well, it’s certainly eye-catching. Pours blood red, with a pinkish head. And the label is just good, old fashioned nightmare fuel. Actually, every other aspect is fairly normal or an octoberfest,, but it does look weird.

Draft at Hop Devil. WTF orange. Seriously.

No, seriously. Why does this have a bright orange head. Weak, light cranberry aroma. Rice. Goes down easy, light corn/rice taste, fusels, tar. Not as drinkable as a real octoberfest. And if this weren’t bright bullshit orange I would’ve given it a 3.1.

I had this beer on tap last year, and I remember thinking that it was god awful - however, I do tend to like their bottled products, so I figured I would give it another shot - yes, it is red - and that is quite off-putting - I know it’s a schmaltz beer, but even this is taking it too far - if the beer ain’t a kriek, it shouldn’t look like this - you need to close your eyes to rate every other aspect of the beer, because your brain just can’t get past the food coloring look - rather bland aroma, with an odd combination of hops that doesn’t quite work - a faint caramel maltiness as well - sweet malts are forward first, but a rather strong and unenjoyable bitterness surfaces fast (these hoppier coney island lagers tend to use sort of gross hop combinations - why?) - alcohol surfaces after that - overall, the aroma and flavor are rather boring, and not all that tasty - and, of course, once I actually open my eyes and drink this stuff, all I taste is red - remember the taste of fake blood and halloween make-up? - yup, that’s it.

Appearance: Clear, red food dye body with a thin, thinning, pink head. Smell: First and foremost, the nose is grainy, with secondary notes of gently toasted malts. Predominately spicy hop character with very minor notes of citrus. Taste: Pale malts, a touch grainy, and then some sweet, toasted maltiness following close behind. Spicy hops, even a bit of citrusy grapefruit with a medium amount of bitterness present. Unfortunately, a slight strange and lingering astringency begins to creep into the taste. Drying to the end with a final ’pop’ of graininess. And you’re left with that odd taste, which I’ll attribute to the dye, as I’ve gotten that when using stage blood orally for Halloween. Mouthfeel: Medium-bodied. Medium carbonation. Drinkability: Not the best oughta the Shmaltz bag.