Carlton Pure Blonde

Brewed by Carlton & United Breweries (CUB)
Style: Pale Lager
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Serve in Dimpled mug, English pint, Lager glass, Shaker

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My god this was terrible, even at 3am in the morning, after a night of rigorous drinking. Absolutely nothing else to this beer other than chemicals and sink water, disgraceful. As noted before, this is probably the clearest lightest beer I have ever seen. Avoid

Memo to beer marketing departments, here’s how not to do it: "Pure Blonde is a product from the Carlton Development Group, a specialist division of Carlton & United Beverages fusing the obsessive pursuit of technological innovation with the passion to create unique beverages". Marketers, save that shite for your mission statements and PowerPoint presentations - don’t put it on your beer labels because your customers just might suss that your new "product" (or "unique beverage") was created by the Marketing Department, NOT THE BLOODY BREWER. Right, got that off my chest. This unique beverage poured a pale gold colour with a now-you-see-me-now-you-don’t head. Plenty of macro lager wet dog in the aroma. How is this aromatic? Smells like [insert any CUB beer here]. The taste is initially wet cardboard with a hint of wet cardboard in the middle, followed by a gentle wet cardboard finish. If you really try, you can just about imagine some Pride of Ringwood hops. This is depressing.

If you want to drink a low carbohydrate beer than this one is ok. Its certainly a whole lot better than any of the american "lite" beers but its still pretty bland. Still it could’ve been a lot worse and the light colour and flavour sure make it easy to drink a lot of.

UPDATED: OCT 4, 2007 ahhh CUB, when will you get one right. If the aim of this beer was off-clear alcoholic sparking mineral water, well we might be on to something. But unfortunately the label says beer. From a proud heritage of beers like Empire Lager and Carlton Cold, now we have a beer that outblands the rest of them. The best thing i can say about this beer is that it is hard to hate because it has next to no taste and no aroma.

Looks like a beer for the short time that the head lasts. Smells of CUB industrial products. Really tasteless and watery. Another low carb gimmick beer. If you must be on an Atkins type diet and drink beer, try Coopers DB. It’s not too bad. Even the guy on the checkout said he wouldn’t drink this.

UPDATED: MAY 13, 2007 Oh goody, another rating. Thanks I presume go to bluevegie for adding this. Honestly the bottle has been sitting empty in my pantry for over 2 weeks, so now I can do something really useful with this and put it into recycling. I wonder if it is possible to earmark your empties so that they don’t end up being refilled with more commercial crap? First the name scared me, as did the boring label. The pour then produced the expected insipid soapiness that I have come to loathe in these macro dribblings. Yep, sure is a blonde complete with bleached head and shallow body. She does have a corniness to her and it does seem she has been getting into the lemon russkies a bit as there is a faint citrus tone. This girl glides, so no hops were detected at all. I suspect this would be a bit like Paris Hilton, once you are finished with her you really don’t want seconds all that soon.

Medium gold clear under a small short lasting with head. A Very faint metallic and corn grain sweetness aroma. Flavour, what flavour? barely a taste of stale bitter hops and faint sourdough grainy malt.

Clear with little head retention. Yeasty aroma with onions and plastic. Thin, soda water with lime cordial flavour with some bitterness, obviously due to this beer being "double hopped." Vague hint of vomit. As Melle Mel and the Furious Five once said, "It’s Nasty."

I don’t see the point of low joule beers. If you are watching your weight or on a diet, then give the booze a miss for a while. Also a stubby of this is only 20 cals less than, say a VB and there’s 20ml less in the bottle. Having said that I expected the worst when I tasted this. I was quite surprised. It didn’t taste dirty and gunky like, say, a Carlton Cold. Lacks flavour although there is a hint of creamy vanilla there somewhere. Not a great beer by any means, but not downright offensive like most CUB brews. I won’t be in a hurry to drink this again though.

Another new one from CUB, when will they get one right? Big fat beading didn’t help make the appearance look great, a little bit of lacing helped and the colour was bright straw. Nose was a bit rubbery and also hoppy. Taste was a bit crisp but basically flavourless. Still it will appeal to some people.