Colt 45 6%

From a can at the beer festival. Fun fact before I begin: did you know that you can actually get Colt 45 in a keg? Weird. What can I say about this "malt liquor" that has not already been said? Drink while cruisin’ the ghetto looking for the local rap record shop. Billy Dee Williams will kick your ass if you don’t buy his beer.

Rated from the godawful lingering taste in the morning which ellicits dry heaves and regret. Colt 45 like any other malt liquor that I’ve had, tastes like corn and paper and maybe a little fuel. I think it’s just how these flavors come together and how potent they are that even begin to differentiate the malt likkaz from each other. It was only unpleasant going down, but after a friendly game of Edward 40 hands, plenty of additional alcohol, a night spent in a drunken stupor, and a hangover which borderlined terminal illness, the thought of that taste, which wasn’t good in the first place, makes my stomach cower in fear and a few tears fall from my eyes.
-------------[Feb 02, 2008]------------
I always sample this under the most ideal of conditions. This particular occasion, my buddy and I were headed to Knoxville to enjoy a show when we were struck with a most intense need to urinate. Fearing an embarrassing and foul smelling accident, we submitted and stopped before reaching our destination to utilize some restroom facilities in a gas station. After a most satisfying bladder emptying experience, I felt the need to patronize this establishment for rewarding me with such a wonderfully relieving sensation. I marched up to the counter and bought a pint can of Colt 45 which was then packaged in its appropriate serveware: a brown paper bag. After leaving this store and parking the car to walk to a bar downtown we hastily consumed Colt 45. Literally walking under a dark bridge at night with a can (too bad it wasn’t a 40 oz. bottle) in a brown paper bag, I felt more hobo-like than ever. Thank you Colt 45. editor’s note: This stuff tastes noticeably better in the can.

not to bad for a 40 oz i would still stick with olde english myself but this isnt that bad

I dedicatedly rate high-quality beers for two years and somehow this is what comes up for my #1000 rating. I have Frankenkitty to thank for that dubious distinction.<BRBR><BRBR>Fluorescent pour, looking like radioactive hospital waste. Maybe that’s why they keep the bottle in the bag? The sample was cold, which thankfully cut down on any strong or objectionable odors. Some very promising mineral spirits fumes are noticable, however. I aggresively pour a sample into the recommended glassware for the style and watch a fairly volitile carbonation generate a substantial white foamy head which collapses just as quickly into a mildly polluted oily slick. Again some paint thinner fumes, but not terribly offensive. The first taste does not, surprisingly, trigger a much anticipated gag reflex. Main initial flavors are corn and other adjuncts, some of which might very well be inorganic. Some alcohol burn on the throat. Not as terrible as I feared. The hell with the glass, gimme that bottle! I grab it away from my buddy. A big deep swig, then another even bigger this time...I’m getting into this! And as I pass it back to Frankenkitty, I can actually see some of my oily backwash slide back down inside the bottle neck and mix with the rest of the "likka". Enjoy the male bonding, my fellow Bowery Boy, it don’t get much better than this! I’m actually feeling a rap coming on...

I know I’m white...but that ain’t my fault, I still love to suck on that "fody" of malt. Shut the f*ck up and you might stay alive, or I’ll bus’ a cap in your ass from my Colt 45. This here is word up to that honky, Slim Shady, "YO, I just slipped sumthin’ phat into your old lady!" I’ve heard y’aller down with the OPP, but you don’t know sh*t ’bout the LoSBD! So when you see this Powermaster drinkin’ Midnight dragon, Nighthawk, or the Panther...Show some respect, muthaf*cker, rudeness is never the answer!

Thank god the race to 1000 is over...my liver couldn’t take much more of that! And we can finally dispense with that lame Frankenkitty vs. RAYBOY01 in-rating "Flame War" juvenile bullshit! What a waste of time...and not even all that funny, either!

Hey Joe, last one to #2000 is a slightly overweight pusillanimous dilettante with silly facial hair!!!

A memorable occasion calls for a memorable beer. This sucka pours pure yellow clarity with light carbonation and a creamy white head. Aromas of grass and minerals with alcohol under corn. Flavor gets better as it warms, starting with sugary corn syrup and a healthy amount of grass, no doubt preparing your palate for a blunt. Mouthfeel is milky smooth to the point where swigging off the 40 is like suckin’ off yo’ mama’s titty. Damn, tha’tz smooth. Spokesperson <a href=http://billydeecolt45.ytmnd.com/>Billy Dee Williams claims, "It works every time." I can’t figure out exactly what it works for... I just know that it does.

This brew is symbolically rated on Easter Sunday as RAYBOY01 and myself rise from the dark cave of drunkneness as Beer GODS. (And I pledged to my homeboy that the last one to go pours a malt likka on the other’s grave.)

<font size=-4>Shared with <a href=http://www.ratebeer.com/View-User-18266.htm>RAYBOY01 as our 1000th rating at a meeting of <a href=http://www.workinlate.com/LoSBD4.html>the LoSBD 04/15/06<font size=-1>

(Bottle 118 cl) Pilsener golden with a rough, white head. Sweet’n’sour aroma. Medium body with sweetish accents of chicken fodder - a.k.a. brewing syrup and brewing cereals. No real bitterness. Gee, these 40 ounce bottles are real muthafuckers.... 260306

Another pathetic beer that I have forgotten. How could anyone make a beverage that tastes like gutter water. I’d love to be serious about this but the people who made this can’t serious... but they are.

I figure a real review is in order... Colt 45 in it’s Philippine incarnation (the only widely available "import" here, though it is actually brewed under license by San Miguel) is one of the worst beers you will ever have, unless of course you drink the other offerings by San Miguel brewery, then it is about par for the course... I had avoided Colt 45 my entire beer drinking life while growing up in North America because of the reputation for being a horrible cheap way to get drunk... It just seems like pure torture to do it this way, when half decent vodka goes for 20 buck for a half gallon, but I digress....Anyway, back to the beer, the fellows that gave it a 5 do so in jest. This could be one of the worst beers made in North America. In the true spirit of King Cobra, Mickey’s Big Mouth, and Old English, this is a crappy beer targeting the poor communities. Don’t try this beer to see how bad it can be. Have a Budweiser or a Miller High Life to sample a "bad" beer. This is s stretch to even call this "beer", and will make the above two examples seem delicious. Avoid, unless served at 32.5 degrees F at a stupid college frat party. Make sure to have someone dial 9-1 and then keep their finger on the last 1. The smell of this beer will be familiar to anyone in the paint thinner business. The alcohol taste is weird and strong, considering this is only a 6% beer. Avoid at all costs.