FatPhil (9723) - Tallinn, ESTONIA - DEC 6, 2014
1.1 AROMA 3/10 APPEARANCE 1/5 TASTE 2/10 PALATE 1/5 OVERALL 4/20
600ml bottle (Petrol Station in Poland)
Clear glass bottle, so docking a point for that. The contents are glow in the dark red, and pour fizzy. Annoyed me on the first sip - a quote: "Aww fuck, actually it’s not *that* bad. Lemony bullshit". However, the subsequent sips’ taste is eughh! Crappy pale lager with sugar, chemical lime additives. Scary. Really awful concoction, total horror. But amazingly not a bad as some others it shares the style with.
Marduk (3089) - Tallinn, ESTONIA - DEC 5, 2014
1 AROMA 2/10 APPEARANCE 1/5 TASTE 2/10 PALATE 1/5 OVERALL 4/20
500ml bottle. As soon as I saw you, so bright like christmas tree, in that supermarket at Zywiec, I knew I have to have you. I wanted you so bad, like polish police tourists. You didn’t disappoint me when I tasted you. You was just like I imagined. You gonna live long in my memories. And nightmares.
Palme (3606) - Bergen, NORWAY - DEC 4, 2014
1.3 AROMA 3/10 APPEARANCE 4/5 TASTE 1/10 PALATE 2/5 OVERALL 3/20
0.4l clear bottle. No expectations here at all. It stars off by pouring a actually quite good looking warm amber bronze colored crystal clear body with a medium sized really lacing reddish hue head. The nose is not completely horrible, it’s pretty awful but in a curious way what you can call sniffable. Red sweet cacti, herbs, artificial berries and dead flies. Oh, it’s one of those complete complete undrinkable ones. Oh, my. THIS has to be the worst tasting beer I’ve ever had the pleasure of pouring down my throat. It’s just beyond words trying to describe how horrible this tastes. It’s muddy, yeasty, super cloying, artificial and it’s making my face do horrible things to itself. No, I honestly think this has to be Nr 1 on the bad tasting scale. All-time. 04.08.2014
laiti (6153) - Helsinki, FINLAND - NOV 22, 2014
1.6 AROMA 6/10 APPEARANCE 2/5 TASTE 3/10 PALATE 2/5 OVERALL 3/20
40 cl bottle @ VastActiv
Aroma has fruit juice, lemomade and grapefruit juice. Flavour has grapefruit lemonade, some fruit candy and harsh bitter notes. This is too bitter for a lemonade and too lemony bitter for a beer. Useless.
mjs (4877) - Helsinki, FINLAND - NOV 22, 2014
1 AROMA 2/10 APPEARANCE 1/5 TASTE 3/10 PALATE 1/5 OVERALL 3/20
(Bottle, 0.4 l, courtesy of FatPhil, 20141122) The beer poured red and clear. Its head wasn’t there. Aroma had strawberry soda and chilli sauce. Palate was light bodied with medium carbonation. Flavours were fruit juice, citricness, sweetness and more sweetness. Aftertaste was sweet. A pointless brew.
tiong (4079) - Espoo, FINLAND - NOV 22, 2014
1.2 AROMA 3/10 APPEARANCE 2/5 TASTE 2/10 PALATE 2/5 OVERALL 3/20
Pours red with a smooth head. Aroma of artificial flavors, spices and sweet lemonade. Taste is sweet, stuffy and artificial with notes of berries and lemonade. Finish is sweet and sugary with artificial lemonade notes. Baaaaad.
VastActiv (3149) - Oulu, FINLAND - NOV 22, 2014
0.8 AROMA 2/10 APPEARANCE 1/5 TASTE 2/10 PALATE 1/5 OVERALL 2/20
Bottle 0.5l at home, Helsinki. Thanks to Marduk/FatPhil. Colour is clear red with no head. Aromas and flavours: Sweetness, berries, strawberries, soda and artificial sugar. This is no beer. Stop manufacturing this kind of shit.
Alengrin (2607) - BELGIUM - OCT 24, 2014
0.9 AROMA 2/10 APPEARANCE 3/5 TASTE 2/10 PALATE 1/5 OVERALL 1/20
New version of the infamous Desperados, with not just tequila flavour added, but also cachaça (Brazilian rhum) and guarana (a caffeine-producing South American plant popular in energy drinks and the like), as well as industrial citric acid - and the expected tons of sugar. Poured from a 50 cl can, it displays a pure but misty copper colour and a medium thick, off-white head with pinkish hue, sticky and more or less stable, though reduced to a lace and ’islands’ in the middle after a while. The nose gets industrial lemon juice from a bottle, ice tea, energy drink, orange lemonade, grenadine, brown rhum and a lot of white sugar, but nothing in the aroma even remotely says ’beer’. The taste is a lot like some Coca Cola Company soda pop: artificial sugary citrus combined with ascorbid acid. Strong carbo with minerally effect further adds to this effect. Energy drink (Red Bull style - a drink I have detested ever since it came onto the market) is apparent too, as a result of the guarana; in the finish, faint hints of rhum and perhaps vague tequila appear with a bitterish, artificial, chemical, somewhat wry effect which is only tempered by an awfully cloying sugary sweetness; the artifical acidity further dries the mouth. Again: almost no actual beer taste, just a weak hint of pale malts far away in the background. Of all the beer styles around, flavoured pale lagers from transparent longneck bottles or showy cans are by far my least favourite; I had expected this to be the worst beer I was ever going to taste, but it disgusted me just a little bit less than the regular version (I hasten to stress "a little bit"). Still: ghastly and only appealing to people who don’t actually like the taste of real beer. Very obnoxious too, the sweetness stuck to my teeth and palate for a very long time, blocking my abilities to taste real beers. One point off for ruining my evening!
ElManana (545) - Scheldewindeke, BELGIUM - SEP 18, 2014
1.3 AROMA 4/10 APPEARANCE 3/5 TASTE 2/10 PALATE 1/5 OVERALL 3/20
Can @ RBBSG, 2014. Clear red, artificial color. Aroma of chemical lemonade. Same goes for the taste. Sucks big time.
dfinney23 (1901) - Houston, Texas, USA - SEP 17, 2014
1.8 AROMA 4/10 APPEARANCE 2/5 TASTE 4/10 PALATE 2/5 OVERALL 6/20
Wait, is this really beer? It tastes more like a soda pop. As a soda I’d give this a 3.3. As a beer? Not so much.