Frederick Scholz Ice

Brewed by Cold Spring Brewery
Style: Pale Lager
Cold Spring, Minnesota USA

Serve in Dimpled mug, English pint, Lager glass, Shaker

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A single can priced at 92¢ so it comes to exactly $1 with tax. "Brewed in the finest European tradition" it says below the label. Old European Brewing Co. is listed in small letters on the side of this 335ml can as if they didn’t want people to know who had made this brew. Pours up a very light and crystal clear yellow color with a decent couple fingers of foamy white head atop the brew. Millions of tiny bubbles constantly rise to the top as they attempt to release their tiny CO2 load. The bright white head settles slowly with a head retention not usually found in this type of brew. The walls of the glass are fully coated in a layer of white as if it was painted on there. Sweet malty aroma fills the nose. Bits of fruitiness mingle in with some apple and a touch of berry. Hints of hops are present with a bit more fruitiness. Much fruitier then I would have expect from a macro lager. Bit of biscuit and a touch more malt sweetness come through at the end. Smooth sweet malty body with very little carbonation. Smooth and sweet with lots of fruitiness. Bit of berry and some apple. Medium-light boy and a touch of fizz at the end. Fairly clean aftertaste and easy to drink. A hint of toasted barley in the aftertaste. Hops impart just a slight note in the aftertaste too. Overall this beer was much more then I had hoped for. Poured outta the can super smooth as if there was no carbonation. Millions of tiny bubbles rising to the top as if it was highly carbonate. Little to no sign of carbonation in the mouthfeel other then a hint at the end. Lots of fruity flavors were surprising too.

UPDATED: MAR 9, 2006 I think this beer would keep roaches away. I can’t believe a brewery would actually brew and sell this shit. After my first sip the first thing that came to mind was Raid bug spray. It numbs tastebuds and grates at the back of your throat. My neighbor bought a case of this stuff because it was so cheap. He can’t drink it unless he mixes it with Busch. I guess that’s his version of a Half and Half.

My life, along with the life of many of my friends changed for the better on that fateful day when the great Scholz Ice appeared in the refrig. The unique flavor filled my mouth and I have not looked back. The only beer in the house is Scholz and god willing, it will stay that way forever.

Can: Oddly, the slow stream of carbonation rose in slowly in the glass in a double helix pattern, for which I gave the appearance rating a three. The aroma is an unoffensive, sweet "something." The flavor actually feels like you’ve put some mud in your mouth. (Note: In a lambic, this would probably be a good thing; however, this claims to be a lager.) It’s like some dirty malt that was trampled on. It took a while to clear the flavor from my mouth. Even at $.59, this was not a bargain.

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This beer was introduced to me as "WORST. BEER. EVER!", in full Simpsons ComicBook Guy voice, by a representative of the very distributor of that beer. Actually, it only appears, "exclusively", at one chain of liquor stores, so he hardly had to worry about spoiling sales. Color is a transparent yellow, so what else is new? Head is thick, full, 2", fluffy white, so it’s got that going for it... Aroma: whaddaya talkin’ ’bout, hah? No such aminal. Slightly sweet, a touch floral, overall, dry. On the palate, utterly unpleasant. A frown comes upon my face with every sip, and that ain’t good, brother! No body, no texture, beyond the atrocious wince-inducing mouthfeel, no flavor at all, entirely forgettable. With each sip I take, I wince anew! Ugh!!! It must be left to more technically adroit minds than mine to detect why this is, but they must also have better things to do, so I leave it as a moot point, a question not unanswerable, but uncareable, as in, who gives a (*&#@$%^&%$%%^$ it just stanks, and that’s all you need to know...