Keystone Light

Brewed by Coors Brewing Company (MillerCoors)
Style: Pale Lager
Golden, Colorado USA

Serve in Dimpled mug, English pint, Lager glass, Shaker

pours the palest color I’ve ever seen. Almost want to call it "offwhite." Almost no flavor. Slight notes of white grape and rice with a metallic twinge. Dank but honestly nearly nonexistant finish. Is this even beer?

The length of the previous rating for this horrid beer is preposterous btw. Awful.

We all know there’s an unwritten rule among beer geeks that all macro lagers are mediocre beers and the “light” versions of their also-ran products are just the absolute bottom of the barrel offerings. But is that really true? Well, as much as I do think Keystone Light is a mediocre beer, I have to admit it’s as least drinkable. When paired with junk food and/or a social setting it’s almost impressive just how non-offensive this mediocre beer can be.

APPEARANCE AND AROMA

Mainstream macro lagers are the butt of jokes among beer geeks for their resemblance to urine and Keystone Light is no exception. It definitely does fit that role and what’s even funnier is the fact this beer is completely tepid only seconds after it is poured out. It’s a crystal-clear shade of white gold and produces, initially, a fat, bright-white, foamy head but it eventually dissolves away to nothing and leaves zero indication it was ever poured into the glass in the first place (this beer would make a good CIA agent).

The aroma is almost non-existent, surprisingly enough. I do detect a slight soap-like scent but overall it’s very dry and slightly grainy. I’ve smelled much worse, to be sure, but a beer with almost no scent at all is indeed rare.

TASTE

Honestly, I was ready, willing, and able to slam Keystone Light for being a beer offensive to the human palate on a global scale, but having actually drank some I was genuinely surprised I couldn’t honestly consider it as such.

This is perhaps the beer most lacking in flavor I have ever experienced. Many bargain-basement brews of this type are known for tasting as cheap as they sell for, but Keystone Light is actually at the point of being neutral. I does not taste good by any means, but it doesn’t taste bad and offensive, either.

I do detect a mostly watery, grainy palate as though it were just beer-flavored water. There’s no hops or malts to speak of, nor are there any adjuncts detectable. Dare I say I might actually get the slightest of a sweet taste to the palate, but it’s so ridiculously weak it cannot save this beer. It’s mediocre all around by virtue of its blandness since there’s just nothing to appreciate or enjoy here.

DRINKABILITY

I was genuinely impressed at just how smooth Keystone Light was. Nearly all these macro lager imprints claim to be smooth, but their high carbonation and adjunct taste actually makes them difficult to drink. As the can says, this beer is “always smooth,” but considering it has the same consistency (and pretty much the same taste) as water, that comes as no surprise.

WEIGHT

I paired two 24oz cans of Keystone Light with pizza and wings and I did not feel even remotely buzzed until nearly the end of my second serving (that’s the equivalent of four 12oz cans or bottles). It didn’t fill me up at all and I hardly noticed the effects until well into the drinking process. Mathematically speaking, a single individual serving of Keystone Light is appropriate for the lightest of lightweights and everyone above them. It is only 100 calories and 4.2% ABV, after all.

FINAL THOUGHTS

While I’ll never admit that Keystone Light is an even remotely good beer by any measure, the closest thing to a compliment I can give it is that it’s not nearly as bad as you might think. It would work well for Monday Night Football, frat and sorority parties, camping trips, and any other social situation where beer should be served and taste is no option, but money is tight.

NOTE: Watch the video version of this review at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIT2NTtexOk

Pours clear golden yellow almost no head or retention. Aroma is very sweet with a distinct smell of corn or rice filler. Flavour is very dull and uninspired. It is very weak although not offensive. If this was the key stone your arch would fall apart.

You can tell they used really good water to make this beer, you can smell it. Because you can tell the difference between the good water smell and the malt and hops smell, because there is hardly any malt or hops in it. Its yellowish, slightly less coloured than apple juice, like someone wanted clear yellow and nothing else. It’s like a refreshing glass of water with some beer flavour in it. It’s not offensive in any way, except its weakness, So I had to at least give it something.

A SUNY Cortland standby. Watery, grassy flavor. Stricktly a get drunk quick beer.

UPDATED: MAY 14, 2010 This is not good beer whatsoever. It’s only value is being a cheap alternative.

A: Incredibly pale yellow. As with many other light lagers, the appearance is incredibly reminiscent of water. There is a fluffy white head, initially, which quickly disappears. S: The smell is pretty bad. A large amount of gas from the carbonation stings the nose a bit, and then you are hit with the smell of rice and corn, with very little grain. T: The taste is, not surprisingly, very light. It is sweet and is noticeably lacking in grain flavor. There is a complete absence of hops as well. As it warms up, it gets worse, so drink it fast. M: The beer is very, very thin and fizzy. D: The mouthfeel, along with a very cold temperature, is what makes this beer somewhat palatable.