Kronenbourg 1664

Brewed by Kronenbourg (Carlsberg)
Style: Pale Lager
Obernai, France

Serve in Dimpled mug, English pint, Lager glass, Shaker

Crushed with Jakebra. Very crushable in London when it was pound pint night. Nowadays, it feels like the smelly cousin of Heinekin. Harmless but you should probably wash it down with some toilet water to get the skunk taste out of your mouth.

Pours a clear golden orange with streaks of yellow. Topped by a puffy white head of foam, she deflates faster than I can keep up with, leaving rocky pockets of large bubbles. Her nose is sweet with honey, Hawaiian rolls and wonder bread rolling into freshly cut grass damp with dew. Summer corn undulates in the breeze alongside fields of grain. Lemon whispers in the background, and I am pleasantly surprised by the vividness of her nose. As I take my first quaff, I pause…and take another.

”Excuse me, waiter. I do believe someone switched my beer with water when I wasn’t looking. You see, I had this Kronenbourg 1664, but now all I have is bubbly water.”

I could drink a six-pack of this beer and still not taste anything. Where-oh-where did all the pleasantly nominal aromatics that made up her nose have go? A black hole, maybe? A few more quaffs in and there is a pitiful whimper of honey and bitter dead grass before they lay down upon my tongue, feet up. Wait! Is that wonder bread? It could be, but wonder bread is just white air given form, so I really can’t tell. Rotten lemons join the garbage dump forming on top of my tongue, and I call it quits while I still can.

I have never been so underwhelmed by a beer after enjoying its nose with relative ease. There was absolutely nothing in the palate; nothing. And come what did after a good half dozen generous quaffs was a festooning pile of festooning garbage which reminded me of my drive south along I-95 between Indian River County and St. Lucie County. Florida has mountains, man-made ones that is. Brr. Avoid at all costs.

Bottle 0.33l. Gold color with medium white head. Aroma, watery, with hints of hops. Taste watery, maybe some hops and grain. Bad beer.

500ml can. Soapy whte head sits atop a lifeless golden body. Sweetish aroma (corn?). Weak malt falvours, some bittereness.

Bottle. Poured clear golden color, thin white head. Vague malty aroma. Flavour is weak hoppy and lemon. Clean but very watery. Easy to drink.

Skunky and white bread in the aroma while the appearance is generic golden pale lager, although very slightly darker than usual. The flavor is grassy and bready. Although not bad, the green bottle made this very skunky and I’m guessing it was far from the greatest lager to begin with.

Aroma of corn and grains. Taste is an okay blend of corn, hops, some sweetness with a bitter aftertaste. Not bad, not great.

Join the masses and have this light beer while you sit outside on a parisian street, the people watching will be much more memorable than the beer.