Larine Grand 95

Brewed by Martens
Style: Strong Pale Lager/Imperial Pils
Bocholt, Belgium

Serve in Dimpled mug, Footed Pilsner, Lager glass, Stein

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Oh my goodness this sucks so bad. I was fooled when I saw the sixer that said Belgum Ale... Cant go wrong right??? Sickly sweet smell. Its a real chore to drink.

Bottle from Cavie... agh. Let’s just look at the bottle. It’s a clear plastic coke bottle with a gold twist cap. Look like an off-brand Canada Dry bottle. Then this shit poured brownish-yellow like the weird shit that my 2 month old nephew leaves in his diaper. Smells like honey and vomit. Taste is vomit, rotten malts, vomit, and ralph. Keep in mind this is before anyone actually did vomit. How could I throw up? It TASTED like upchuck.

Written in my notes, "Fuckyou beast horrific Fuckshiut the awful!" Take from that what you will.

Looks like a disgusting brownish orange pour. Smell is a crazy amount of hot honey, sweet malts and crazy ass grains. Oh Lord this is awful. Tastes of awful honey extract. Very rough to take in. I’m SOOOOOOOOO glad I saved this for the last beer of the tasting. *sarcasm off*

UPDATE: 5 Minutes Later: and I puked.

mmmbeer sent this funny bonus along. Plastic bottle. Aroma of honey and rotten fruit with some alcohol and stank malt liquor. Flavor is sweet and bad. Really strong alcohol, rotting fruit, nasty. Nasty. Nasty. did I mention nasty?

99 cent buy @ Roger Wilco in Pennsauken, NJ. Wasn’t sure if this was a cheap malt liquor or Euro strong Lager. Swill Malt Liquor, dirty rag aroma, pours with barnacle bubbles clinging side of shaker and the look of apple juice. Pure alcohol bomb. Logo on the label has a ’King Barrel’ who looks like a member of Aqua Teen Hunger Force

16.9 oz plastic bottle served in shaker- poured transparent extremely light brown, low carbonation, one finger white head became a 2mm head as I wrote this. Aroma of young corn (white/Pioneer mix?) and cheap booze. Hits the mouth with a low body, malt hides some of the corn which is nice, sweetness from the start but not as much as US malties- and it’s not rough by the previously mentioned standard, middle is where is starts to fall apart, finish is water like. Hides the alcohol well, give it credit for that. This is how the homies roll in the REAL far east, I guess. Heck, I wouldn’t mind recieving a free sixer of this- and I would drink it!

I fear that I am actually doing a great disservise to this brew by actually pouring it into a glass. This is the kind of beer that deserves respect. The kind of beer that refuses to take a back seat, a beer that surely deserves to be drank from the exquisite green plastic bottle (with screw cap) that it comes in! Are you kidding me! Dirty dishwater brown in color with decent carbonation. A thin bright white head of fine bubbles flies to the top of the glass (probably because it can’t stand to be in the beer). Lets define the aroma like this...I have smelled worse! Dried flowers, plastics (gee where did they come from) corn syrup and some butter. Flavor is a nice combination of things that offend. More plastic, corn flakes, a tad of dry bitterness, some spices and a big synthetic alcohol kick. This is really loaded with the non natural flavors we have all come to love. Once again, my main man etowneraser comes through with flying colors and finds me a real top notch keeper. You da man!

Plastic bottle. Pours clear gold with a thin but lacy white head. Plastic aroma.... hmmm. The aroma is otherwise sweet pear and cotton candy. Light body and moderate carbonation. Boatloads of fusel alcohol overwhelm the little bits of bready taste. This stuff is not so Grand. Olde E tastes marginally better, and is way cheaper, and even if you prefer this stuff where are you going to find a brown paper bag of the correct size?

I bought this ale knowing Belgium beer is suppose to be the best in the world, but Grannd 95 had a very nasty taste. I don’t know if this was made to be a drinking beer or possibly made to use in a Belgian beef stew or other reciopes. I know one thing, I won’t ever drink it again but may try cooking with it one day to see if it’s good there.

#2 in a disgusting Larine beer tasting. Very fusely aroma. Lots of sweet plasticy esters and sweet apple/pear cider character. Sweet pale, slick and quite nasty. A bit of ethanol on the back of the palate. This is pretty damn crappy, even by malt liquor standards.