Frank (2188) - Chicago, Illinois, USA - JAN 3, 2012
1.4 AROMA 3/10 APPEARANCE 2/5 TASTE 3/10 PALATE 1/5 OVERALL 5/20
Call me crazy but on cold winter evenings one thing I really love is to sit down w/ a horrendous Lithuanian beer, bonus points if it has a nonsensical name relating to sea life and extra bonus points if it’s labeled in a style that it is not. Naturally, I am exceedingly excited to try Lober Lover’s Beer Porter which is some sort of murderous variety of Eastern European malt liquor. It pours a hazy orange golden color w/ a small head of fine bubbles. It doesn’t look good but doesn’t look horrible either. It smells horrible which is fortuitous for an awful beer connoisseur such as myself. I would liken it to partially fermented apple cider and alcohol. And speaking of partially fermented and alcohol, it is dominated by worty sweetness w/ a finish dried by an isopropyl-like burn. The texture is somehow both flat and flabby and stinging w/ carbonation. Overall, this is not quite as magnificently atrocious as I had hoped but I can safely say it is very bad. Rather than being to mind toxic waste and the city of Los Angeles, it meerly tastes like what it is: a high gravity malt liquor w/ adjunct grains and/or sugars piled on for an extra dose of cheap alcoholic oblivion.
Butters (3320) - Richmond, Virginia, USA - AUG 30, 2011
2.3 AROMA 5/10 APPEARANCE 4/5 TASTE 4/10 PALATE 2/5 OVERALL 8/20
Near clear dark golden pour with ring of offwhite head. When I first opened it, it smelled EXACTLY like banana nut bread. However, after a few seconds that faded away to just caramel and aclohol sweetness. Flavor is a bit medicinal and has a fairly harsh bite on the tail. Not my favorite from these guys, but better as it warms up. Reminds me of mouthwash mixed with a barleywine.
BückDich (5467) - McCall, Idaho, USA - APR 27, 2011
1.7 AROMA 4/10 APPEARANCE 1/5 TASTE 4/10 PALATE 2/5 OVERALL 6/20
Bottle: Porter? I don’t think so. Although the bottle I have has a different label and says 5.2%... Odd. Pours a copper color with a white head. The nose is vaguely roasty with a whisp of coffee, but it could be mental. Mostly it’s just sweet with alcohol and a bit of grainy husky adjunct-laden lager notes. The flavor confirms with just a thin sweetness and a brash boozy finish. Not a porter, sorry. Even if it called itself a malt liquor, I might only give it a 2.
CaptainCougar (7093) - Columbia, Maryland, USA - APR 6, 2011
2.7 AROMA 5/10 APPEARANCE 3/5 TASTE 5/10 PALATE 4/5 OVERALL 10/20
Bottle: I bought this thinking it would be a porter, and although it’s listed as a Baltic Porter here, it’s anything but. Pours a clear bright copper with a spotty-lacing off-white head. Has a caramel and toffee sugary nose with a touch of light fruity esters and a hint of sweet corn. Starts with a finely-dissolved carbonation and sugary maltiness with some light fruity notes, maize and lager-yeasty character before a slightly more bitter, but still fairly sweet finish with lingering bitterness. A misleading name for a beer that should be listed as a European strong lager.
tronraner (2459) - Walland, Tennessee, USA - FEB 5, 2011
2.6 AROMA 6/10 APPEARANCE 2/5 TASTE 6/10 PALATE 2/5 OVERALL 10/20
Bottle. Pours a deep, crystalling red-orange with foamy off-white head. In general, it’s a very attractive beer, but not at all what I was expecting from a "porter." Ok, whatever. I’ll try to be open-minded. Taking a whiff, the aroma is spicy and sweet with a dense maltiness and some high alcohol. The flavor is exactly like the aroma--rich malt and some spicy high alcohol. It’s drinkable, but very uninteresting.
BroSpud (1348) - , Massachusetts, USA - DEC 6, 2010
2.9 AROMA 6/10 APPEARANCE 3/5 TASTE 5/10 PALATE 3/5 OVERALL 12/20
Oversized bottle (1pt, 9oz). Do not open this expecting a baltic porter or porter of any kind. Maybe a brown or strong ale would be a more realistic style. The bottle does say porter though. Pours a light brown with very little head or carbonation. Sweet caramel with some fruit tastes. Nothing special.
bhensonb (8985) - Woodland, California, USA - AUG 24, 2010
2.5 AROMA 4/10 APPEARANCE 5/5 TASTE 4/10 PALATE 2/5 OVERALL 10/20
Bottle from Malt & Vine. Pours ruddy copper with a foamy 4 finger beige head. Aroma is sort of dark malt. Maybe a fruit touch. Medium body with foamy carbonation - it quickly thins a bit as the carbonation leaves. It’s lightly malty and lightly fruity, then something strong seizes the mouth - like a combo of heat, metal and herb hop. Several essays suggest a mild astringency. Very unusual. Euro strong lager seems a more likely style. Light baltic porter could work too!
scrizzz (2223) - Bothell, Washington, USA - JUN 30, 2010
1.9 AROMA 6/10 APPEARANCE 3/5 TASTE 3/10 PALATE 1/5 OVERALL 6/20
It says porter right on the bottle. In brown glass, held up to the light, you can see through the bottle. Maybe porter is subject to interpretation. Pours a light and clear amber, sweet, strawberry, malt syrup. Sweet up front, slow growing sting of metal. One sip, done.