Up for grabs is a 2010 OR 2011 Darkness. I know we have lots of talented people on Ratebeer--I’d like to see what kind of creative writing talent we’ve got. |
So, I says to Mabel I says... |
gordita. |
So I was waiting in line at this Kate the Great release, and I says to myself.... "looks like the Darklord release" they must taste the same. And I left. |
Once upon a time there was is a great an sage elder. This wise and learned man, (a dead ringer for Rodney Dangerfield) welles known throughout the land as King foe. The good King foe, now in his 40’s still loves running with the pups. A couple years ago a brewer threw a little swaray for a few of their most devoted fans. So this nice quiet gathering (we’ll call it Dark Lord Day) gets going and Kingfoe starts enjoying the libations which are flowing like free boxes on the beer websites (we’ll call it Ratebeer) free beer week. Our beloved Kingfoe has only 1 problem. He is a BMC guy and is drinking beers such as Footbig, Kreat the Gate, and many other other high abv beers. The quickly intoxicated King grows sleepy and passes out in a lawn chair. Fortunately for the King his loyal subjects would never do anything to embarrass him such as duck taping him to his chair. It was clear the King should not be mocked as he was adorning a shirt reading "Beer Advocate". As his humble servants we felt the Kings public image was in need of some aid. A group of his advisors determined that the good king would be loved and seen as a benevolent leader if only he was seen as more of a man of the people. Thus in the time honored tradition of Weekend at Bernie’s we put a pair of sunglasses and a hat on him and allow passers by to take funny & semi lude pictures with the good King. When he awoke from his slumber and discovered he had been duct taped to a chair and been the object of his subjects love and devotion he was very pleased. Jocularity ensured and everyone lived happily ever after. |
I wrote a two-part critique of two of 2pac’s reviews a few months back in honor of Ten Years of 2pac. They are as follows: |
Coopers Birell Premium |
I suppose it isn’t really a ’story’, but I did make it up. |
There once was a beer from Nantucket… |
Using a well crafted and well rehearsed combination of Charm, Alcohol, and begging, Suttree made his move... |
And there I was, blowing off work, hitting the refresh button over and over again, and nothing, just nothing. I had stayed up all night, with re-runs of Three’s Company repeating on nick at Night for the last 4 hours, just trying to win a free beer. And why? Was it because I couldn’t get the beer through a trade? No. Was it because it was my favorite beer of all time? No, heck, I hadn’t even ever tired it. Was it because I was broke and down to my last dollar? Not at all. So what was this sense of urgency and desperation that kept me up all night? |
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