Budweiser

Brewed by Anheuser-Busch InBev
Style: Pale Lager
St. Louis, Missouri USA

Bottle. Light yellow with very thin and quickly disappearing head. Waterly with limited character and finish.

Ah Budweiser, how I was fascinated by thee when I was younger and far more ignorantly impressionable. From barking frogs to cute dogs to mostly nekkid hot chics getting paid to endorse your product, I knew more about your advertising than the actual beer itself. Fast-forward more than 20 years later…I know far more about your product now, though your nefarious marketing ways haven’t changed at all. In fact, they’ve gotten sneakier and more nefarious than ever. You know the saying: bullies don’t change, they just get older. Budweiser is exactly the same. They may be celebrating 130+ years of business, but their bullying ways haven’t changed a bit, they’ve just gotten older. Add to that marketing genius which relies on the ignorant suckerability of the lazy masses who would rather someone else make their drinking decisions for them, and voila: an evil empire is born, raised, and flourished. But I digress; there is a beer review to write and the beer is the original progenitor of evildom: Budweiser.

~cue the frogs~

From his bottle to my glass, golden yellow grains settle in where no head is to be found, just a thin border of meager white foam. He swirls with no lace, unsurprisingly. Teasing his golden depths, faint esters of wonderbread, key lime, ears of corn still green and awaiting harvesting from their green husks finish with a hard mineral bite. Soda water comes to mind. My first quaff is much sweeter than I was expecting with sweet butter rolls and honey-glazed bread. There is no finish at all, just a residual wetness at the back of my throat which reminds me that I just swallowed some sort of liquid. Lemon and lime zip across the top of my tongue while wet bread offers meager weight to his body. Furthering our journey of the damned, a typical dank and slightly rotten finish starts to rear its ugly head. Whether a product of inferior ingredients, the lack of enough ingredients, chemical additives, an unnaturally fast brewing process and far too short lagering time…or all the above, pretty much all inferior macro lagers waste no time developing that rotten dank finish. A couple more quaffs and it’s a wash, rinse, and repeat of the same. The only thing that progresses is the growing unpleasant dank funk and so the reputable giant, Budweiser, joins his rightful place down my kitchen plumbing.

Ever wonder why the large majority of your macro lager drinkers don’t finish their bottle or pint? As they near the end and the arctic chill starts to wear off, their tastebuds awaken to the horrible swill they have been enduring and proceed to scream for relief. Unfortunately, the relief usually comes in the form of another freezing cold bottle or pint of the same. Habit. Marketing. Nonchalance. Ignorance. Laziness. The reasons for why people choose to drink Budweiser are many, but that doesn’t mean I understand them any more or any less. Okay, understand maybe I do, but accept I do not.

light malty,light yllow,clear, white foam, lightly bitter, lightly sour, short finishlight body, thin feel, fizzy, soft light harmonich.

Generic elephant piss to drink at parties and football games. And a common beer we used to drink back in college.

This ultra-thin, watery, morbidly stagnate beer is pompous enough to call itself "The Great American Lager"? I call shenanigans. Budweiser tastes, of all things, like a fistful of salt being lobbed into a vat of pond water. Why this perfectly inadequate, borderline offensive beer is wrapped around the lips of many is beyond me. The next time I see one of these cans being coddled by one of my friends, no matter what the situation, I’m going to slap this bottle of fecal waste from their confused fingers. What a terrible, grotesque, impolite drink to give to free people.

Pour a cloudy, light yellow. Head quickly dissappears. Kind of a corn flavor with citrus hints. Weak overall flavor, except a not so good aftertaste. Imitation beer? This beer is only fit for a mother-in-law. I will never drink again

Pours deep gold with white quickly fading head. Taste is corn with a little rice and hay flavor, maybe a bit of lemon? Not bad but not good.

Very light hop aroma which is difficult to detect. Something makes me think Czech, probably Saaz hops. Bright yellow color with a pure white head that vanishes quickly. Tastes of corn and rice. Quite bland but refreshing and contains no offensive elements. Thin and fizzy. Finishes crisp and dry. Far from a premium beer but it’s probably the best of the big American lagers. Cheap and easy to find.