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"May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead."
-Old Irish Toast
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
-For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed - Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ’It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.’"
-Deep Thought, Jack Handy
"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose."
-Deep Thought, Jack Handy
"The easiest way to spot a wanker in a pub is to look around and find who’s drinking a Corona with a slice of lemon in the neck."
-Warwick Franks
"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
-Winston Churchill
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-Benjamin Franklin
"If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
-David Daye
"People who drink light ’beer’ don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot."
-Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her."
-W.C. Fields
"Everybody has to believe in something.....I believe I’ll have another drink."
-W.C. Fields
"Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into."
-Don Marquis
"I drink to make other people interesting."
-George Jean Nathan
"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer."
-Homer Simpson
"All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me - so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer."
-Homer Simpson
"I never met a pub I didn’t like."
-Pete Slosberg, Founder of Pete’s Brewing Company
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"May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead."
-Old Irish Toast
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
-For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel...
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