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The Stupidity Never Ends

Alcohol Focus - Where's My Flamethrower When I Need It?
Oakes Weekly November 14, 2002      
Written by Oakes

Vancouver, CANADA -

Lots of articles this week, so just a short Oakes Weekly.<P>A <A HREF="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/2415149.stm">story was run on the BBC last week regarding the sale of Samiclaus inScotland by Safeway. The grocery chain issued a press release heralding therelease of the beer, which for those of who are not familiar (yeah, lots of those on Ratebeer!) is a 14% abvdoppelbock from Castle Eggenberg in Austria, claiming the beer would giveyou a "shiny red nose like Rudolph’s".<P>Some morons going by the name of Alcohol Focus of course have issues withSafeway promoting the strength of the product. Among their concerns werethat an "unsuspecting drinker" could put themselves over the legal limit fordriving on just one bottle. Also, they continue "people will have no ideaof how much they are actually drinking." If that stroke of genius were notsufficient, they elaborate further: "in the run up to Christmas there ismuch more likelihood that people will drink and drive."<P>You know that saying about it being better to be silent and thought a foolthan to open your mouth and confirm it? Apparently, Alcohol Focus have notheard that one. These guys are about sharp as refried beans, and as swiftas a dead rat frozen to the ground at the top of Ben Nevis. First of all,what does the fact that Christmas is approaching and the related drinking &driving situation have to do with Samiclaus? At what point in thatparticular argument does the actual beer enter in to the equation? You canget drunk on many things, not just Samiclaus. Because Christmas isapproaching, we should stop selling anything that will intoxicate somebody?But I need vanilla for my rice pudding! Seriously though, whether or not thepoint is a valid one, it is totally unrelated to the Samiclaus promotion andtherefore is nothing but a cheap ploy to sneak this group’s prohibitionistagenda into the piece.<P>Now, on to the first two points. These guys have obviously never tasted aSamiclaus. This is the modus operandi for these anti-alcohol lunatics.They are too busy dreaming up ways of treating fully grown adults likechildren to actually try the product they have a problem with. For thosewho’ve had Samiclaus, precisely how long did it take you to figure out thatthis was a very strong beer? Did the 14% abv written on the side tip youoff? Was it the stinging alcohol aroma? Or maybe the bracing slap of thestuff when you took a sip? One whiff of this and nobody will be"unsuspecting". They will very much know "how much they are actuallydrinking", not only by reading the label and smelling the alcohol, but bythe buzz they get from just one bottle, which if truth be told probably tooka good hour to drink - four times as long as the average pint of bitter, for a beer four times as strong.<P>There are some positives to come from this. First, Safeway’s response,though worded more softly than mine, was basically the same. Fullcredit to them. In North America, you wouldn’t likely see that becauselarge companies can’t wait to get on their knees for special interestgroups, but in Britain even a large company is still unafraid to tellsomebody to bugger off when need be.<P>Second, selling Samiclaus in Scotland is not normally something the BBCwrites about. You’d think these nanny groups would figure out at some pointthat while they think they are applying pressure to firms with theirincessant, infantile whinging, all they are really doing is giving theobject of their objection an abundance of free publicity. But then, you’redealing with people whose IQ’s are so low they need to take their shoes off to count past ten. I predict Safeway sells more Samiclaus than ever before in Scotland this Christmas, and a whole new waveof "unsuspecting" drinkers will be turned on to some high-test specialty product that they might not otherwise have ever tasted.


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