Beer Ratings: Rants

North Shore Collaboration Brew Triple IPA 1.2  
Deep Cove Brewers North Vancouver, British Columbia
473mL can, pours a hazy amber orange with a medium white head. Aroma brings out plenty of earthy hops, bready malt, and some light phenols. Flavour is a total trainwreck, with disgustingly sweet cough syrup, candied sweetness, phenols galore, alcohol and perfume. Hilarious how bad this is. An undrinkable, sugary sweet, boozy, phenolic mess. This shouldn't be sold.

Kirin Light 1.7  
Kirin Brewery Company Tokyo, Japan
Tao: pours piss gold with white head. Aroma is grains and stuff. Taste is light and lagery. Doesn't even have the refreshing riciness of most Japanese crappy lager. Bleh.

Four Winds Bloom 1.9  
Four Winds Brewing Delta, British Columbia
Very horse farmhouse. Cherry only minimally coming through. Not so drinkable. Thinnish, but thanks for hookup Brian.

Real Cask Maple Vanilla Barley Wine 1.0  
Real Cask Vancouver, British Columbia
On cask at Callister, pours a clear pale copper, no head. Aroma brings out lots of artificial maple and vanilla, almost smelling like pralines n cream ice cream. Flavour is astringent and harsh, with paint thinner, perfume, maple, vanilla and booze. Very harsh and unpleasant in every way. Terrible.

Night Owl Bungalow IPA 1.4  
Night Owl Brewing Vancouver, British Columbia
On tap at Callister, pours a cloudy golden with a small white head. Aroma brings out crackery malt and dry hopping. Flavour is unpleasantly astringent, with tons of phenolic notes dominating this. Absolutely dreadful stuff - the band-aid notes kill this. This shouldn’t be sold.

Bud Light Lime 0.5  
Anheuser-Busch InBev St. Louis, Missouri
This beer sucks. This brewery/corporation sucks. Looks like cat piss. Tastes like cat piss. AB InBev and its executives should go to hell as they are satan's spawn!

Stone Ghost Hammer IPA 1.4  
Stone Brewing Escondido, California
Poured from a can. Drain pour. Smells pretty good but tastes like crap. Won’t drink again. ---Rated via Beer Buddy for iPhone

Graft Cider Book of Nomad: Siege Over Orion 1.9  
Graft Cider Newburgh, New York
On tap at Upright Brew House. 5oz taster. Cloudy watermelon-colored 🍉 brew. Smell is mostly over-ripe papaya, lemon, caramel & guava paste. Taste is just straight confusion. Disgust doesn't set in till moments later. Dusty, prickly texture. Malty, sour, lactic, tropical... So many of these "ciders" just taste like foul batches of homebrew forgotten in mom's basement a year after moving out. Nope.

Bavaria Pilsener / Premium Beer 1.7  
Bavaria Brouwerij (Netherlands) Lieshout, Netherlands
This pils poured a clear amber colour with a bright white, frothy head. Minimal lacing. Scents include corn, sweet malt and metallic. First swig was very thin with flavours of corn and malt with a not bad hop flavour. Finish was lightly hoppy with corn and minimal bitterness lingering.

Argus 1844 Reserva 1.5  
Lidl Neckarsulm, Baden-Württemberg
Bottle from Lidl, Vila da Bispo, Portugal. Golden coloured with a thick white head. It has a malty, toffee, dried fruit and alcoholic flavour with a thin fruity alcohol burn on the finish. Poor.

Bintang Bir Pilsener 1.8  
Pt. Multi Bintang (Heineken) Central Java , Indonesia
Süß getreidiger, mild herber Antrunk. Geringe Bitterkeit, deutlich süß bleibend, langweilig. Monoton, etwas metallern, langweilig. 10/6/7/5//6

Löwenbräu Oktoberfestbier 1.5  
appearance: pale yellow, clear. almost white head. aroma: malt, bread, slight pepper. taste: malt, bread. uninspired saufbier

Miller Genuine Draft (MGD) 1.8  
Pours clear pale golden with a thin head that dissapears immediately. Aroma of malts and cardboard. Taste of malts, corn, watery. No aftertaste. Pretty run-of-the-mill lager (pun intended), if a bit too watery

Wells Waggledance (Bottle) 1.9  
Charles Wells (Marston’s) Bedford, Bedfordshire
Bottle, 500 ml from Pivoljub. Clear orange, small white head. Caramel malts, bit metallic, skunky. Watery. Low carbonation. Light sweetness. Not good.

Bergquell Kirsch Porter 1.6  
Bottle at LKS, thanks to Fergus. It pours clear deep brown with minimal head. The aroma is crazy sweet cherry, cherry drops, cherry cola, cough drops and earthy roast. The taste is so crazy sweet, artificial, cherry tunes, cough syrup, cherry cola and plenty of sugar with a short, sweet finish. Light body and fine carbonation. So sweet it is rotting my teeth. Like a cheap supermarket of cherry cola. A bit shit.


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