RATINGS: 95   WEIGHTED AVG: 1.45/5   EST. CALORIES: 360   ABV: 12%
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Aurelius (5426) - Tallahassee, Florida, USA - APR 15, 2010
Well, this ain’t gonna set the world on fire by any means, but it is certainly less foul than I was expecting. The appearance is ghastly, I hope that they didn’t pay a graphic artist for that 24 oz can. Beer is clear and specimen colored. The smell was just, I don’t know, malt likka - except with a little vanilla tinge. The flavor, basically, is that of a cheap vodka boilermaker in cheap lager. Machine oil viscosity. Finish is warming and mercifully short. Ex-Petro station, Bradfordville.

Teege (375) - Orlando, Florida, USA - APR 15, 2010
Thanks to SoLan. Pours bright yellow with a white head. Extremely malty in a way i don’t really mind and kind of like in a slumming it sort of way. I even get notes of apples in the nose and flavor and white wine in the nose. honestly it is a pretty decent malt liquor, a beverage that certainly has its place in my life.

ketchepillar (1199) - Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA - MAR 19, 2010
Less cherry cough drop than Stack. More straight forward, not nearly as complex as Stack, which is good and bad I suppose. More compost and manure.

brokensail (16601) - Dublin, California, USA - MAR 12, 2010
A: The pour is a fizzy, light golden color with pretty much no head. S: Oh wow, this is bad. The nose is a terrible combination of sugar, caramel, and cream with some coffee and grape juice. The alcohol is incredibly well pronounced. T: I wish I could give this lower than a one (I gave a one to the appearance to compensate). This is the most god-awful tasting beverage to ever grace my tongue. The coffee, caramel, abrasive alcohol, metal, and absolutely disgustingly sweet...what were they thinking? M: Thin bodied, highly carbonated, and hot from the booze, even when ice cold. D: This is the worst thing I’ve ever had (and I’ve had a lot of malt liquors). I would never have this again, nor would I suggest anyone consider buying this. The 24 ounce can was about 48 ounces too much.

Liquiddinner (11) - M.O.P. aka Mayor of Perkins, Michigan, USA - MAR 10, 2010
My friend is correct when he equates this to an AssQuake. He speaks the truth in every form possible. The precursor to the full on anal detonation reminds me of sitting on the rails of an approaching train. Your calm, but can sense the impending arrival of something hollocausticly dreadful. Your intake of the Quake has set forth the chain reaction from within. The stakes are high in this intestinal battle, but utter failure to contain it is the ultimate result. You may survive it’s effects, but your dump stool will suffer mightedly. Move with haste from the scene and free yourself of the images you left behind. Your only solace will be that you have enough Blatz on hand to tune your system back into shape. EarthQuake is one natural disaster that I can proudly recommend to all.

RONCOD (247) - Uledi, Pennsylvania, USA - MAR 8, 2010
Clear golden color with a very thin white head. There were some caramel flavors in this, but it is too sweet for me. You can really feel the alcohol burn in this.

vomit (262) - Michigan, USA - MAR 8, 2010
Earthquake=Assquake. I only rated above 0 because it has the highest coefficient of mayhem I think is possible (24oz/12% ABV/$1.30).....THINK ABOUT IT. If you have blatant disregard for your intestinal tract and you really want to punish yourself for the minimum amount possible, you have a friend in EARTHQUAKE. The day after massive tremors & aftershocks were felt in my nether regions; it felt like I broke the double-digit barrier on the richter scale. Massive amounts of destruction were the toll I felt, and FEMA was nowhwere to help with the cleanup that was necessitated by frequent cataclysmic journeys to unleash the QUAKE into my mightily suffering toilet bowl. Where’s the federal relief when you REALLY need it? Two days of temblors and general malaise were the toll I paid for a cheap bender. By all means, I highly recommend this. But please, please do not operate heavy machinery, telephones, or attempt lucid conversation while partaking; all are well-nigh impossible during the momentous eruptions that have their epicenter squarely in the middle of your colon.

scooterbub (1067) - Lander, Wyoming, USA - MAR 6, 2010
24 ounce can. Pours a nice, clear, gold color with a thin white head that fades slowly. Taste is of malt, corn, caramel, over-fruit, sugar, some yeast and some warming alcohol in the finish. Is fairly sweet. The sweetness reminds me of the syrup from the bottom of a can of fruit cocktail. Similar aroma. Has a rather nice body that is creamy. For being 12% abv, it is hidden very well. For a malt liquor, it is very easy to drink, smooth, and rather enjoyable. Overall, an excellent beer for a cheap price.

Ibrew2or3 (8743) - Tempe, Arizona, USA - FEB 23, 2010
This beast of a beer is housed up in a 24oz can courtesy of bvc. It pours deep clear gold with thin bright white head. The aroma is sweet sweetness with acetone, corn, esters everywhere and a touch of floral hops. The taste is aggressively sweet and slick moving into corn and pears by midway. Too darn sweet. I’d have to have a lot of food with this to cut the sweetness in order to have a chance at finishing a can.

markwise (5441) - North of Tampa, Florida, USA - FEB 15, 2010
I don’t remember if it was gunhaver or Ibrew2or3 that brought this one. Wow. The usual: corn, corn syrup, lager, adjuncts, and booze. Flavor is similar with lingering armpit and booze. Just wow.

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Tick this beer for your profile
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