2 guys are sitting at a bar. One says "I’ll have H2O".
The other guy says "what’s that?"
First guy says "water"
So the other guys says "Oh, I’ll have H2O too"
Then he died. |
Originally posted by ClarkVV
Originally posted by RichTheVillan
Originally posted by DuffMan
Sarky, RTV, and Gary were all sitting in a bar nursing their hangovers with pints of flat hote golds. "I’ll never drink again," moaned Gary, "last night I went home and blew chunks before passing out."
Sarky looked at Gary and said "Thats nothing mate-- last night I didn’t even make it home before passing out. I woke up in a ditch with no pants on!" Rich raised his aching head from the table and said "I’ve got you both beat. I don’t remember anything from last night before passing out, then I woke up in the drunk tank wearing a heavily stained Latin dancers costume." Shaking his head Gary said "Guys! Guys! Chunks is my dog!"
I went out wearing that costume
This doesnt reflect well on Gary.
Nothing reflects well on Gary.
<*))))))>< |
ABInBev walked into a bar and bought a majority share of ratebeer LLC....... ... . .. .. .. . .. .. . .. ....... ... . . . . . .
has migwell posted since? Just stirring the pot. |
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Originally posted by cheap
Just stirring the pot.
Stirring or smoking?
A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads "Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves." |
A skeleton walks into a bar and says:
-Two beers please and a cleaning bucket. |
A pirate stumps into a bar and orders a jug of rum. He is a weathered, grizzled old pirate with a peg-leg on the left, an eyepatch on the right, and hook where his left hand used to be. The bartender is fascinated by his appearance, and serving him his rum he can’t help but ask: "Geez mate, I bet you’ve got some stories to tell! If you don’t mind me asking, how did you lose your leg?"
The pirate takes a swig from the jug and growls "A mean fookin’ shark bit it clean off when I fell overboard during a battle with the bloody Spaniards."
The bartender is impressed with this and asks "That’s incredible! So how did you lose your hand?"
The pirate takes another swig and says "I was in a foight to the death with a six foot tall marauder, and just as I sunk me blade into his guts, he chopped off me hand with his cutlass. And that’s how I got me this hook."
The bartender is awestruck at the toughness of this swarthy character and asks "Did he stab you in the eye before he died? Is that how you got the patch?"
"Naw", says the pirate, "A seagull shit in me eye."
Confused, the bartender asks "Wait a minute. You’ve fought sharks and marauders, but it was seagull poop that blinded your right eye?"
"Not exactly," says the pirate. "It was me first day with the hook." |
Originally posted by DuffMan
A pirate stumps into a bar and orders a jug of rum. He is a weathered, grizzled old pirate with a peg-leg on the left, an eyepatch on the right, and hook where his left hand used to be. The bartender is fascinated by his appearance, and serving him his rum he can’t help but ask: "Geez mate, I bet you’ve got some stories to tell! If you don’t mind me asking, how did you lose your leg?"
The pirate takes a swig from the jug and growls "A mean fookin’ shark bit it clean off when I fell overboard during a battle with the bloody Spaniards."
The bartender is impressed with this and asks "That’s incredible! So how did you lose your hand?"
The pirate takes another swig and says "I was in a foight to the death with a six foot tall marauder, and just as I sunk me blade into his guts, he chopped off me hand with his cutlass."
The bartender is awestruck at the toughness of this swarthy character and asks "Did he stab you in the eye before he died? Is that how you got the patch?"
"Naw", says the pirate, "A seagull shit in me eye."
Confused, the bartender asks "Wait a minute. You’ve fought sharks and marauders, but it was seagull poop that blinded your right eye?"
"Not exactly," says the pirate. "It was me first day with the hook."
I don’t get it.   |
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Originally posted by fly
Originally posted by DuffMan
A pirate stumps into a bar and orders a jug of rum. He is a weathered, grizzled old pirate with a peg-leg on the left, an eyepatch on the right, and hook where his left hand used to be. The bartender is fascinated by his appearance, and serving him his rum he can’t help but ask: "Geez mate, I bet you’ve got some stories to tell! If you don’t mind me asking, how did you lose your leg?"
The pirate takes a swig from the jug and growls "A mean fookin’ shark bit it clean off when I fell overboard during a battle with the bloody Spaniards."
The bartender is impressed with this and asks "That’s incredible! So how did you lose your hand?"
The pirate takes another swig and says "I was in a foight to the death with a six foot tall marauder, and just as I sunk me blade into his guts, he chopped off me hand with his cutlass."
The bartender is awestruck at the toughness of this swarthy character and asks "Did he stab you in the eye before he died? Is that how you got the patch?"
"Naw", says the pirate, "A seagull shit in me eye."
Confused, the bartender asks "Wait a minute. You’ve fought sharks and marauders, but it was seagull poop that blinded your right eye?"
"Not exactly," says the pirate. "It was me first day with the hook."
I don’t get it.
Ok I edited it by adding one sentence. See if that clicks |
A guy goes over to beeradvocate and makes a similar thread... |
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says " excuse me, is this stool taken"
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